It is not about Praying from the same Church!
Today, Let us think through John Maxwell’s quotation- Everything rises and falls on Leadership on a personal note. You are the leader of your life, Everything rises and falls on Me and you.
I am almost a year in marriage and Yes it is a sweet experience but allow me take you back to my single life journey as I positioned myself for Mr. Right.
To tell you a bit about myself and for purposes of this write up, I will share more about my religion affiliation. I am a woman, social protection specialist who is a Catholic by birth, baptism and choice.
I was born and raised a catholic, breastfed Catholicism, practised it which shaped me to the focused, prayerful woman I am today. Bravo to my Sweet great Parents!.👏👏
When the world opened up to my independence, I still chose to be Catholic, gone are the days when parents raised children in their generational religious affiliations and children took it up with no excuse. Not only did I choose to be Catholic, I chose never to engage in a relationship with a non catholic as I knew that dating meant business. In this case, business meant date for marriage. I didn't want to compromise my feelings but also Invest my time and sources in a relationship that wouldn’t yield any fruits. It was clear deep inside my heart that I wouldn’t handle an interfaith Marriage.
Time came for me to be very specific, persistent and humble with God in my prayer; the list of qualities of a husband came down to ONE major one (Other qualities that could be running in your head now were a constant to me). I well knew that I was after God’s heart, He had raised me to a certain level that He would not make me cross path with a man lower than where He had put me. Like God’s chosen race, I was very sure that His promises would be fulfilled in my life (Mathew 7:7).
I asked the lord for a man/ husband with whom we would kneel and pray in good and bad times, a man who would support me but mainly support me in Church ministry , a man who understands God nature not just a catholic. Indeed, the lord’s ears were wide open, He presented to me the exact man, call him Niky (Not his real name) so I may understand the meaning of discernment and being sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
The dating journey begins and all seems well. Oh! Niky knows how to talk to God in a different way, I was swept off my feet, I was challenged in many aspects of life and this is what I longed for in a man not just a mediocre. we shared great experiences but my spirit, call it the heart kept oscillating in clear and mixed feelings about the journey. I realised it was time to be very sensitive to the Spirit of God as He (the holy spirit) communicated to me. It was time to talk about our calling in Church ministry and how we would support each other in marriage.
Like Abraham prayed for a sign for who would be a wife to his son Isaac, it was time for me to see the sign with my naked eyes to either go ahead with the relationship or not.
Niky is gifted with teaching, Intercession and counsel, I am gifted mainly in Intercession and praise and worship to mention but a few. We realised that supporting one another was like water going down a thirsty throat. BUT, the how was very questionable.
Niky declares that he is called to full time ministry, Yes from the time we got in contact I knew he was working within a parish in Europe with a minimum pay as social worker but little did I know that he had chosen to do full time ministry.
Full time ministry means that you totally leave your career and focus on teaching the word of God, serve in Church and everything about you is church activities and its community service. In Uganda here, such people do not have clear terms of earning, it is said they live under the mercy of the Parish or Pastor/ community around them but more so live a stagnant / unclear life style.
Gemma on the other hand, is called to minister in church along side her career progression. This means, I have a professional job which I perform to my best along side church ministry. In Gemma’s small head, ⚠️ danger was detected!
The round tables of discussions became triangle tables. Niky desires to have a wife who would physically support him in ministry wherever he would be invited; Gemma desires to have a husband whom she would support in his ministry without directly affecting her career, a husband who focuses on both career and ministry not forgetting his family because she believes in career being an important ministry too.
To cut the long story short, we couldn’t agree, the sweet relationship hit a snag, I let it go.
Remember, I prayed for a Catholic Man with all other important qualities he had, they meant nothing without us agreeing on how to support one another in ministry- the power of discernment and being sensitive to the spirit of God.
I became a little more patient after learning very good lessons and the Lord went ahead to bring someone else(My husband) who had more than what I needed without any question.
Remember, prayer and discernment is very important for you in every sphere of life.
Choose to have an intimate relationship with God, your antennas will always be alert.
- Going to the same Church, being part of the same community, subscribing to the same religion isn't enough for you to go ahead and make that regrettable decision.
- Being in the same ministry/ Choir doesn’t guarantee you a happy life together. People Mask up and others aren’t meant for you, be sensitive to what the lord is speaking to your life.
- Being in a situation-ship that has been iced as a relationship should not make you lose your destiny. Pray better.
- Age yields pressure, society pumps more pressure and some parents also exert pressure that makes one bounce like a ball, just remember to stay focused, the lord is yet to release the relief pressure valve.
- Know who you are, your calling, your purpose on earth, your values and be intentional not to compromise or else you lose yourself.
- Position yourself as though you are that person you are looking for, God will give you a perfect match.
- Do not compromise, He/she will change, at least he/she knows God; you will only be dropped at Church for Mass/service and be picked after. He knows you love God and he knows God too but does not believe in going to church to fellowship with others.
- Think of the businesses we look out for, jobs, business partners, opportunities, decisions we are to take; Be sensitive, the lord is speaking.
As a leader of your life, in your family, community and all positions you have, practice being sensitive, discern, act according to God’s will.
